


Seeking Love Interest

by Jean Cabot (Rosencrantz)



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Personal Ads, Romance, Tropes, failure - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6169222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosencrantz/pseuds/Jean%20Cabot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How to tell if a main character is answering your personals ad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeking Love Interest

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"Hey! I saw your ad and I think I'm just the guy for you. I can take you places you've never been and we can dance among the stars!"

 

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"Greetings, my lady! I've long been seeking one such as you and I believe fate hath brought us together! Truly you are part of my destiny."

 

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS OR LOST PRINCES. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"Hi! You're a modern lady and I am a SUPER modern guy. Wanna get a little old-fashioned? I've got a machine that'll blow your mind."

 

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS, LOST PRINCES, OR TIME TRAVELERS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"Just thinking of you makes me wanna howl. I think we should go for a run sometime. Bring tennis balls."

 

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, OR WEREWOLVES. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"I have very... singular desires. You shall fulfill them."

 

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, OR BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"I'm on my way to the rainforest to check out these old ruins. You said you liked adventures, so why not?"

 

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS, OR WHATEVER THE HELL STEALS HOLY RELICS FROM INDIGENOUS PEOPLE. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"Hello fellow human, I'm Mike. Your ad is very intriguing. I would like to get to know you more. In a fashion that is normal to our culture that involves touching skin which I have."

 

`SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks MAN for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS, WHATEVER THE HELL STEALS HOLY RELICS FROM INDIGENOUS PEOPLE, OR ROBOTS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"I come in peace. If you know what I mean."

 

`SBF hates all of you, including: SPACE COWBOYS, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS, WHATEVER THE HELL STEALS HOLY RELICS FROM INDIGENOUS PEOPLE, ROBOTS, AND ALIENS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx`

"Not really sure if, like, that last thing was an ad or a threat, but I'm none of those, so I figured I'd try! I'm the kind of guy who'll be by your side on your adventures (or just your hikes). My friends say I'm loyal and kind of goofy, so if that's a combo that appeals to you, how about we get some coffee?

\- Jake."

 

"Sure. Life is short.

\- Alina"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Snacky for editing this.
> 
> Edit: Okay so apparently SM means sado masochism and not Single Male like I thought.


End file.
